“May their joys be as deep as the ocean, And their misfortunes as light as the foam.” – Armenian Blessing, “Let’s drink to love, which is nothing—unless it’s divided by two.” – Irish blessing, “Try to reason about love, and you will lose your reason.” – French proverb, “May your love be modern enough to survive the times but old-fashioned enough to last forever.” – Anonymous, “When love reigns, the impossible may be attained.” – Indian Proverb, “No road is long with good company.” – Turkish proverb, “He who treads the path of love walks a thousand meters as if it were only one.” —Japanese proverb, “A life without love is like a year without summer.” —Lithuanian proverb, “Do not measure your marriage by how much love you feel today: measure it by how much love you’ve offered today.” – Glennon Doyle Melton, You can leave the anecdotes about crazy ex-boyfriends and girlfriend out of the equation, but feel free to include any adorable or funny moments you have shared or witnessed with the, “Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? "Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome." Funny Farewell Messages - Humorous Goodbye Quotes, 70+ Wedding Wishes : Wedding Messages and Quotes, Wedding Wishes for Son : Wedding Messages and Prayers, Thank You Notes for Wedding Gifts - Wedding Thank You, Wedding Wishes For Sister - Messages, Wishes and Quotes. — Rodney Dangerfield, American comedian, 12.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

You're about to join the world's funniest club. Hope you have fun together. You can use it as a toast or base your short speech around. Hope you speak now or forever hold your peace! We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. Good luck with everything. Do you know that you are signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year!

Love is not canceled, neither is your planning. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Don’t miss our full round-up of 51 hilarious quotes about love and marriage. 9 Sex Tips For Couples In Long Distance Relationships, 10 Amazing Love Making Ideas for Married Couples on Valentine’s Day, Love Is A Choice Not A Feeling – Make A Conscious Commitment, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. Congratulations! Everyone loves funny wedding toast quotes, and funny wedding speeches.

The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in grave danger to help out someone they hardly knew. Joy forever! A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. You fall asleep, she's there.

Happy Married Life Brother ;)! Love you two so much. Maybe your “I do” will not cost you- your sanity. I should have asked for a jury.”

Funny wedding quotes make up funny wedding toasts, but witty wedding quotes make up for a playful and catchy wedding speech. I should have asked for a jury.” –George Burns, “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her” – Agatha Christie, “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.”– Mindy Kaling, “I love being married.

FINALLY! You are actually shown some respect when priests ask you to say ‘I do’. When we find someone with weirdness that is compatible with ours, we team up and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss, “Love is a present, so open it happily.” – Sepatu Usang, “A good husband makes a good wife.” – John Florio, “Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash, “If you would be loved, love, and be lovable.” – Benjamin Franklin, “Any fool can have a trophy wife.

Wish them to have a happy married life no matter what. You are a very brave soul who will endure the marriage life and become better than all of us. Funny wedding quotes from movies If you or the couple are movie buffs, it is absolutely necessary to use a funny marriage quote from a movie. Funny Wedding Quotes “A man is incomplete until he is married. So read through these funny quotes from our favorite famous folks (even throw one or two into your ceremony readings, vows or a wedding toast!) It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.” – Amy Bloom, “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” – Mark Twain, “But to sustain a marriage for 50 years, you have to get real a little bit and find someone who is understanding and who you can grow with.

If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer, 16. "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." Enjoy the wedding and help them enjoy it from the best point of view. The end." May you enjoy your epic sleepover with your person for the rest of your life. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. — Robert Fulgham, American author, 30. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. "Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married." I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Marriage takes lots of work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find the humor in it. "We're all a little weird. Congratulations on your union as life partners!

Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. "Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. Hope you will not grow up just because now you are married. I hope you enjoy the circus of this lifetime and make sure to squeeze the fun out of it. Show them how happy you are on their new journey. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck, “Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?

Have fun in your married life.

May God bless you, dear.

— Dennis Miller, American TV personality, 31. About the married life, wives, husbands and more. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Enjoy the magical day and bless them with your presence and funny yet heartwarming congratulatory words. — Ann Bancroft, American actress, 25. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. "Marriage has no guarantees. — Billy Connolly, Scottish comedian, 21. After his husband, , his wife tells him: ‘You’d better have something in front of the house, tomorrow, which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds.’ The next day, she finds on the road, a bathroom scale.”, “Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? Godspeed my friend. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness–and call it love–true love." You come back from work, she's there. Consider adding some quotes on love and marriage into the wedding toast.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. But so again, are thunder and lightning." Have a look at the video given below to get an idea of how can you deliver a hilarious wedding speech.

She finally found Mr. Write.”, “Marriage is like the army. May God be with you throughout all the bumpy ride. Internet Quotes; Funny Moments; Eat Quotes; TV Quotes; Wife Quotes; World Quotes; Good Quotes; Happy Quotes; Know Quotes; Man Quotes; Marriage; Math Quotes; Money Quotes; Never Quotes; Short Quotes; Sleep Quotes; Think Quotes; Time Quotes; Tree Quotes; Wise Quotes; Marriage Quotes.

Congratulations anyway. If you are looking for best man speech openers or maid of honor speech quotes, consider including some funny marriage quotes. To be loved is something. Excellent wedding toasts have love, romance, and a witty element braided into them. Have a blessed and happy life. "Marriages are made in heaven. Romantic Ways on How to Be Intimate in a Long-Distance Relationship, Unlocking the Best Sex Tips for Fat Women. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'" She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then." Have a great life ahead. Wedding toasts need some witty wedding quotes to be complete. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. — Ogden Nash, American poet, 27.

Wishing you all the best for the times ahead!

A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor, “Marriage has no guarantees. Some witty quotes and laughing off at them is the easiest escape from the stress one can be had from all the wedding preparation. Funny wedding quotes Funny marriage wishes and congratulations You may be married, but you don't have to grow up! The moment you get married, your freedom, sex life, and happiness are over! Congratulations! Do not forget to give them your blessings and best wishes for all the fights they are signing up for in the lifetime. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner, “Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce, “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne, “Married men live longer than single men.

I guess it doesn’t even exist. — Catherine Zeta-Jones, American actress, 11. There’s going to be just one voice at home now, And that is of your wife’s. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be goodwill lasts very long.” – Amy Grant, “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." When in search of wedding toast ideas, take a look at some of the inspirational wedding quotes to warm the hearts of the audience. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell, “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight” – Phyllis Diller, has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party” – Nick Hornby, “All you need is love. You got together like two beans in a pod! As a part of the wedding party, you know it’s your job to plan the bridal shower, show the groom an. Learn more. Get a good laugh with the collection of funny marriage quotes below. ― Helen Rowland, American journalist, 8. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates, “I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. is often riddled with hilarious moments.

Wedding toasts need some witty wedding quotes to be complete. Today is a wonderful day to be married!

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. Or is it? In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner." I would like to send you my best wishes on your lifelong contract. — Dr. Joyce Brothers, American psychologist, 6.

After that, he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor, “If love means never having to say you’re sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.” – Estelle Getty, “Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason, “A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Anonymous, “Never go to bed mad.